my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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