Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
