i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize