32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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