Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
