Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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