I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize