How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize