I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Alive.
So much puke
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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