I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
