Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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