Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
