So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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