Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize