Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
