Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
