We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Randomize
