And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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