i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
