I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I miss vodka workout Fridays
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
