Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
