IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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