I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
