I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
