i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize