It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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