Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
