Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
