is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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