my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
