I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
