clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Last time i carry you out of a forest
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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