Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
