Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
