I seem to have left my pride at pride
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Randomize