the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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