@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
