no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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