i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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