I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
