i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Blood and glitter go together right?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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