took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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