Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
