Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize