i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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