haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
