So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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