I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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