you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
