Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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