I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize