He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
