I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize