How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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