For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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