You smell like stripper and shame
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
